I’m going to go back almost twenty years ago, when I had a long term relationship, eight years it was.
I felt I wasn’t getting what I wanted from it, so I summed up the courage to leave.
I didn’t think I was going to do it at the time, even the night before I didn’t think I was going to do it but come the morning, I got up and I thought, that’s the end of this relationship, I’m out, so I can get back on a life of. being, on my own.
It was difficult of course.
I then, not a perfect move, started to find a person who can give me the things that I wanted, that’s from somebody else, why the hell did I think so?
I’ll talk about this another time, in another post, as to the reasons why we always have to look for things that we have within our self, in other people, when we can actually find it within ourselves.
We do or have it, what is this it? The answers to all we’re going through in our lives. Some say we don’t but I know we do. The reason why, you don’t know what the answer is, is because you are stuck in a limbo, not feeling complete and being who you really are.
Everyone has experienced moment in their life, where they think or say to themself, “yes I am on the right track”. You must have had moments like that, you must have.
Then something happens, which sets you right back again, as you begin to progress in your new way of life, you have discovered, takes you right away from it and then for some reason you’re back onto searching again and feeling lost.
The feeling of, confusion, uncertainty, unfocused, unfulfilled starts coming right back at you again.
Anyways, coming back to my story, what I now did, was trying so hard to find someone.
At the time, I spent so much time with what I looked like. I used to wear wigs at the time, I also hard weave on hair extensions.
Right from the age of eighteen, it was the norm to have hair extensions, it is another post I am going to write about, why do we wear hair extensions? There are those who have to, and I do have compassion and understand why, but then there are those who don’t need to, talk more about that, in another post.
I decided to take my clippers and then shaved all my hair off.
The reason I shaved all my hair all off, is, remembering it so clearly now, I said I’ll just be WHO I AM and be proud with what I see in the mirror, if any one doesn’t like it then their not for me. I was that confident.
I wasn’t too comfortable at first but I started to get compliments from people, saying they like what I looked like.
That was brilliant to hear and encouraged me to carry the look.
The reason why they were saying it (in as much as right from a young age, as girls we’ve been told as females it’s good to have you hair long) was brilliant, because at the time, again, I had an attitude which I share in most of my post, as much as I can, not to care about what anyone thinks of you and about what you look like, was the persona I had.
When you do not care about what other people think of you, the joy and the light that comes out of you is what people see.
When people give compliments, most times, it’s not about the hairstyle they see or what you’re wearing, it’s the persons own ray of persona coming through shining through them.
Remember, I had no hair on my head at all. Obviously for me at the time, I wasn’t totally complete within myself. I still lacked a lot of forward thinking persona – lacked confidence, unhappy, depressed and all the rest.
There are moments in our lives where we think yes we’ve got it we’ve got it and then BOOM for some reason, we start to retreat back again and the journey of merry go round starts again.
I know everyone knows the answer to all their problems, issues, stresses, we all do.
It’s starting on and admitting what your weaknesses are is the best thing you can ever do for yourself.
For me as a coach, what I do is guide people, so they remain on their own new found being, when they do find themselves and mentoring is encouraged because you are kept on track, you don’t fall back to your old self again.
The ego will always want to get you back to what it’s comfortable with.
I guide people to remain on track, so they don’t fall off like I did many years ago.