Who is Tinu?...
I am a happy funny light being and not in the slightest a fake happy funny and I will tell you why.
I have had a full-on life experience and I HAD not always being as fully happy as I am now, today at the present.
I was loved and loved in ways at the time, I didn’t think anyone cared about me, but as you know or may know, we are all loved.
I went to school, college, university, did more training’s, courses and more courses. Living a life searching for something.
I wasn’t ever in a place that felt completely comfortable or happy. Life in general was as it could be but underlining there was always something missing.
I’ll be sharing with you my life story and take these experiences I share with you, for what they were. Others have had worse experiences, but then who are we to equate what worse is.
My traumatic life journey started from the age of four.
The experiences I will be sharing with you are the ones that stick out like a sore thumb, regardless what they were. Why do I say regardless what they were? Because for some, some of the experiences will not have tainted them like it did me, it is the same with anyone else’s experiences. I will also share the good ones I remember along the way.
Think about this for a minute – If you were to fall and have all the bruises you can imagine, you are left with a scare, once it is healed up.
My father and mother are the most caring loving loyal libra parents and I love them for who they are, adore them dearly.
Here goes: this is my story.
I was sexually abused at the age of four and also at the age of eight. I couldn’t tell anyone about it, why? because I was told by the abuser not to.
At that age, what do you know? Not a lot I will imagine, so you go along with what you are told, right? what you experience, right? what you see, right? Well it was what I did.
At the age of eleven, my father, who was an officer in the Air Force was posted to Moscow, as a Diplomat. I was only just starting secondary school at the time.
All my family went to live in Moscow and I was ‘left’ in boarding school in Nigeria. I am saying this in the way I felt it – feeling ‘left and unloved’.
My parents love me dearly, they do. However, I created the emotions and feelings I got from the experience. Although I had the joy of travelling from Nigeria to Moscow, on three of the holidays I had in secondary school. I felt like a proper adult. Although, I was still treated with care and consideration by the air hostesses and their team. Enjoyed the experience at the time.
The short holidays I had, I stayed with my lovely beloved grandmother who lived at the state where my boarding school was and with my kind aunt.
I was nicked named Moscow, because my granny, labelled my belongings so no one can claim them – moscow, lol! Love her.
These experiences I have shared with you so far, was the beginning of the sad unfulfilled life I had, I am inclined to say, I started to live in.
The secondary school was in its third year of opening, when I started, so, we managed with – lack of certain amenities – when I say we managed, you will not want me to tell you what I mean by managed. Lol!
Anyways, in boarding school, at a maths class, the teacher put an equation on the black board and asked the class, ‘who can answer the equation?’ I raised my hands, solved it and I got it right, hooray!. However the teacher, laughed out loud, and said, ‘it is only you Tinuke, who will go about solving an equation the longest way round’.
After spending two years in Moscow, my family came back to Nigeria and then my dad was sent to an Air War College in Alabama America.
We went to visit him on our summer holiday. America, which we have never been to, was brilliant and exciting to go to.
It was the year, ‘Purple Rain’ with Prince in it came out and we went to watch it in the cinema, loved it.
Whilst we were in America on holiday, one of my sister died. I witnessed her death, saying witness is saying it lightly. She was ill before we left for the holiday. She also wasn’t completely healed before we left, my parents didn’t know this at the time.
In retrospect, I so much wanted to be my ‘true’ self and be expressive, but I couldn’t. I had so so many questions, with what I was witnessing, going on in my life, but didn’t know how to go about answering them.
In the fourth form at secondary school, I became an assistant house master and that meant we had a separate room to our self. Perfecto!
I also became a social prefect, which I loved. I organised social events, go to other schools to compete. I also represented the school in dancing competition. I love and still adore dancing. We also, the male social prefect and I, with a group of other students, choreographed or copied the Michael Jackson ‘thriller’ dance steps, amazing experience to have had, I still remember some of the dance steps.
I did long jump, I was a member of the matching team, I did a thousand and five meter run race, handball.
At the handball training, I mistakenly knocked down our trainer and I was nicknamed, ‘tree trunk’.
I joined the cadet, I was in a military school. The cadet didn’t last for long, now why that was is a long story to share with you, when I do my talks. One to look out for, lol!
I represented the school for badminton competition and was going to represent the state, the secondary school was, but that was cut short by my parents, ‘I need to face my studies’.
My siblings were girls. I say this because, my father married another woman whilst still married to my mum [you are allowed to, where I come from to have more than one wife]. It was said at the time that because my dad didn’t have any boy child, he was inclined to, by his family to marry again so he can have a boy child.
My beloved grandmother, who I stayed with when I was at boarding school, whilst my family were in Moscow, died.
At the age of fifteen, our home was burnt down to the ground, it was a two story building. We watched it burn. It happened in the middle of the night. Thankfully we were all saved from it.
Finally, after reseating my GCSE and got better grades, by me not doing well the first time, I got an entry to University.
I had the worst time ever but at the same time the best years of my life.
Why worst? I had a terrible relationship, unloving, ‘un’ everything you can think of.
I felt for the very first time, panic attack, now that was the worst thing ever. I remembered going to the A&E pleaded for an immediate relief.
My mum and sister came to visit me, whilst I was in University and a friend, who had never met them before, after all the pleasantry introduction, looked at me them back at them and then back at me and I was asked, ‘Tinu where did you drop from?’. In as much as it was said like a joke, I felt I was told I was ugly and unattractive.
Exciting & Terrible
Why best? I partied a lot, a freaking amazing lot. I was nicknamed teebubble, because I will always be the first, on the dance floor, at any party and partied or danced till the lights went off. I also traveled to parties, in other states.
I had to let those emotions out somehow and somewhere, emotions of unhappiness changed to emotions of rebellion.
Dancing & Partying
The university had a holiday period and I didn’t want to go home, I was terrified of going home. My university was a three hour drive or an hour plane ride, home.
My parents were not getting on with each other and seeing it and witnessing it, put me right off, so I decided to stay at the university.
A friend who did go home for the holiday and who also lived in the same state where my home was. I was surprised to see her, as the holiday only just started. She came to tell me, one of my sisters just died. Not another trauma, not another.
You can imagine, if you can, I started to feel, amongst all the other feelings from all the other devastating experience, nothing seemed like it was working, as it truly can.
After I finished at university, I worked for an Urban Development Bank for six months. I didn’t like it one bit.
I was in a relationship I shouldn’t have been in. What the hell was I doing, I asked myself.
I decided to come to England, away from the relationship and purse a beauty career, away from what I studied in the university.
I did want to be a beauty consultant and a hairdresser, but in Nigeria at the time, it wasn’t something I was encouraged to do, why? You will have to ask me the reason, please do, if you really want to know, it is also something I will be sharing in my talks.
I loved the experience, did it for twenty years, but but it just didn’t feel right.
Work Different Work
I had not-so-good intimate relationships.
I was in a relationship that felt like it was ‘right’ at the time. Think about it for a minute, was it being ‘right’ after all that I have been through? No, I was going along with what came.
I was in another relationship, that felt different, from the other and again it felt right. There was a difference of course, but then again, how do I know if it is right. I will carry on, lol!
I then fell pregnant. At the time, looking back, I had a feeling of emptiness. I then got married and again looking back, I felt I couldn’t have a child out of marriage. I got married, it was a moral, cultured thing I thought – so I did.
I gave birth earlier than the nine month term. She died after living for three months. I spent everyday of her beautiful life with her.
Perhaps at the time, I subconsciously knew she wasn’t going to be here forever.
The time I spent with her looking back was remarkable. Spoke to her always, always. Whilst breast feeding her or changing her or when I had the moment to, incredible feeling it was.
We were sent home, after few tests she had. I wasn’t really ready at the time, but thought, go with what I am been told.
Few days after we brought her home from hospital, I woke up to feed her and she wasn’t breathing. Ambulance was called and she was taken to the hospital.
Whilst in hospital, with the doctors trying to do what they can do to revive her, we were waiting for the news.
We were then told there was nothing they could do and they had done all they could. All I started to concern myself with and asked myself, was ‘how am I going to deal with her death’.
I got pregnant again after a year of losing my previous daughter. Went for the three month scan, I was told they couldn’t find a heartbeat. I lost [died] another child.
The silly thing I did, you have an option to do a D & C or let the fetus take its natural course, you will not guess what I chose, natural course is what I went for. That was the worst pain and experience I have ever had. Painful and seeing the remnant of the fetus. Excruciating it was.
Marriage & Baby
I started to experience a lot of panic attacks, lots and lots. I kept fighting it and yet it kept coming back.
But, then again, I was carrying around me, this strength, that was false, I was lying to myself.
I went to the doctors more than I needed to and sometimes ended up in hospital diagnosed with nothing found or wrong with me. Living an anxious confused life, uncertain what was going on and not sure what the next disaster will be.
I was a negative being, of the universe, I really was. I used the internet to find the reason I had anything I see wrong with me. You know what happens when you do go on to the internet and find what may be wrong with you, the worse diagnosis will always come up. I lived a life of panic, anxiety, uncertainty and all the rest.
Nothing felt right or positive.
I started to question my life. Why am I going through all these not-so-good experiences? Why?
My journey of recovery then bagan, a journey of finding the answers.
I did courses after courses.
Still searching but this searching was different, I was searching to heal myself in more ways that I can.
I developed arthritis. I remember quite clearly, when I went to see the rheumatologist for the first time, he looked at me and said, ‘you are an intelligent woman, you know what to do’.
Things started to change, in as much as I was still leaving that negative uncertain life and at the same time began to find answers. Things started to look like it was taking shape.
I saw the light at the end of the tunnel, but looked far, too far to approach.
I then had a, never seen type of stroke – it was autoimmune related. I was written off. They couldn’t find a drug to heal me. They did test upon test. Scan upon scans.
If you go to the hospital and ask about me, they will tell you, ah! she , thats me, we have never had a case like her’s, she had a very unusual illness we have never come across.
I was in the hospital for five weeks, they could have kept me there longer.
This was an awakening, enlightening and empowering moment at a pinnacle point in my life where I may have otherwise completely given up, I didn’t. It enabled me to say to myself: “that is it, no more”
However, I left the hospital earlier than I shall have. I was well eager to leave when I got my consciousness back, to start living a life as I am meant to live.
Carried on doing courses upon courses, spending more money than I needed to.
Years later, I left my fourteen year marriage.
I had begun my healing process at this time and I began to be the Tinu that I have longed for. I wasn’t the Tinu who met her husband fourteen years before.
My true self, my within, who I truly was started to emerge, finally.
Decluttered, Healed, Cleansed
After a life of searching for what was missing, I was now able to answer all the why and why and why and the long list of why’s you can ever imagine.
I began to de-clog and declutter and cleanse my mind, then the final healing process.
However, as I am right now, sharing my story, my ‘past’ with you, it has no influence on my way of living, in the NOW. It is not in my radar, whatsoever.
My traumatic experience has and is my GREATEST LIGHT.
I am now, a happy funny bunny and my light beautifully shining bright.
My passion, my calling and my gift to the world is to guide and serve others who need a way out of there long list of anguish and questions.
I am not culture bound, nor race bound, nor religion bound nor gender bound.
I am a being who shares humanistic values, the very thing we are born with.
Happiness brings all your life situations into balance. It is what I share with those who find themselves around me.
I enjoy all the experiences around me.
I love everyone and anyone, regardless who they are.
My Sevice To You
Have you come to understand what your experiences are telling you?
Do you know, what they meant?
Are you becoming a better learner in your experience’s?
Are you truly, truly happy?
I can guide you to answering them
Mind Warrior is my title – if you read my posts on the social media, you will realise that I use a lot of mindful thoughts.
I dissect them so you can see them in simple words.
They can be provoking sometimes, but they are true simple words, just read them again.
Freedom from your self imposed shackles, can be yours and it comes with a price and that price is YOU.
You will get a sense of how I work from the moment you meet me, if you are open to getting the results you want.
Change, like with any change, with time becomes the most beautiful self deserving norm you deserve.
As your guide, I will follow you through every little step you take, whatever they are.
It is an investment to your deserving self, building a strong-steel-solid foundation, YOU.
It is the reason why a lot of the buildings stand as long as they do – foundation full of steel.
You are on the driver seat and I am your trusted satellite navigator, your guide, your healer, your freedom maker who will guide you to where you want to go, I will be with you on the your enlightening journey.
Life is for the living and living it in the most happiest ways ever – allowing and giving yourself and others space – allowing yourself to laugh when you feel like laughing – allowing yourself to speak freely when you feel like speaking – allowing yourself to enjoy the moments you get when it is shown to you – allowing yourself to just let go when you do – allowing yourself to be mindful of those who can be judgemental – allowing yourself not to care about what others think of you – allowing yourself to show how you feel when you feel – allowing yourself to just be, YOU.
I have come to realise that we are all the same – race, colour, religion, sex, gender – the only thing that makes us all different from, one another, is our experiences, so I celebrate commonality not difference.
I am a guide, a healer, a servant to the world. In my presence and perhaps if you are or become open to it, you will immediately get a sense of who I am and what I can heal and guide you to achieve – it’s almost like I diffuse any problems, grievances, any doubts any negativity in the room or gathering I bring myself to be present in. You are the same too, if you open yourself to it, to the light you have.
I am here for you, this website, the creation of my website, is here for you, if you are looking to feel as content as happy as free and liberated as you can be, in whatever life situation you are in. I’ll guide, heal and serve you.
Yes I can and I will, but I am not here for everyone. I am your guide to freedom, to cleanse you of whatever restraints, difficulty, weaknesses or limitations you may have.
The Four C's
The four main important components in my role as your guide and healer and your role as a client are – Clarity, Commitment, Consistency and building the Confidence – in your journey together.
Where are you in your journey of life? I can guide you in your journey so you remain on board.
Have you lost control of your life? I can guide you to getting your life back.
Do you know who you really are? I can guide you there.
Would you like to live a happier, content and have that feeling of liberation? I can guide you there.
You will like to have a feeling of freedom? I can guide you to your freedom.
You can start by taking a one-off coaching session with me or the free 15 minute session.
I will be sharing with you the ways you can become free of all the things that get in or are in your way – invariably, is living a happy content and deserving life or I’ll guide you to manage it/them.